Invitations and Salutations
Wedding Tip Wednesday - Volume 1 - Invitations and Salutations
Wedding invitations go out in many different ways, these days.
Traditional wedding invitations - the kind you have and hold in your hand - are the first ones we will discuss, based on our research of modern wedding etiquette.
WHEN do they go out? Six to eight weeks before the wedding. Three months before is the suggested time for invitations to be sent out for weddings that take place outside the country.
WHO receives them? Invitations go to guests you wish to include in your wedding, in contrast to other announcements which are intended solely to announce an event.
WHAT information should be included?
HOSTS Traditionally invitations were sent out by the parents of the bride and groom and the wording would begin: Mrs Jane Smith and Mr John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their children, Gretchen Smith and Michael Maddison, for example. (Note that traditionally, the bride’s name appears before the groom’s). The first lines included the names of the hosts of the wedding.It is not necessary that they be included in the invitation, however. Below, the names of the bride and groom, the time and date and the address of the venue of the ceremony and reception and a phone number / sometimes email address requesting that the guest RSVP. Some invitations may ask guests to indicate their co-vid vaccination status but this is not generally the case.
SALUTATIONS How do you address your guests? How do you tell your guests they can bring a guest? How do you address a guest who identifies as non-binary, on a wedding invitation?
On the envelope, the guest is usually addressed formally by including the salutation, Mr. for male guests, or Mrs. for married females, or Ms. for mature and unmarried females. or Miss, for unwed and younger invitees. When addressing a non-binary guest, the appropriate salutation is Mx. If you are unaware of the gender of the guest, politely ask. When invitations are extended to a “plus one” or guest, the invitation’s envelope will indicate, for example, “Mr. John Coleman plus Guest”. Additional guests are not assumed invited if their names do not appear on the envelopes or if there was no verbal discussion of the matter ahead of time.
Being aware of some traditional do’s and don’t’s helps ensure guests and hosts avoid misunderstandings.
More to come!